Got to be starting something

Oh, my. What have I done? Here's my just-sent back to my granddad (sorry about all the deleted names -- protecting the innocent and all).

Cast of characters:

     D----, my grandfather         L----, his lady friend
     |      |          |       |
  S,        B1----,   B2----, J----
 my father  my uncle  my aunt my other uncle
    |        |     |       |
   me     J----  G----  I----

My grandfather wrote:

Hello to all, Time for a "letter" to being all up to date. Thank you B1---- for the pictures of J---- and his garden. Good work J----!! There are some very good looking beets, beans and corn. All for your own table....much better for you than the other you probably consume. J----, you are a very husky boy. What is G----'s hobby? Or is she a gardener too? L---- and I had a wonderful trip to Paris.
The most impressive and memorable thing was L----'s eccstatic pleasure in going to Paris, and also in having T---- surprise us with a visit, traveling from Barcelona, along with his girl friend, to see us. We had dinner together at a charming little french restaurant in the park not far from our hotel. He made arrangements himself to come to Paris, and find a place to stay, just to spend a few hours with us. He is a resourceful young man, self sufficient, and head of his class in journalism in Barcelona College where he is specializing in radio and tv journalism. As for us, we spent a day at the Louvre, the Museum de'Orsay (where all of the French mpressionists art is) and also a trip to Versailles. The Moulin Rouge was a delightful performance one evening, and the river boat dinner cruise on the Seine River was also delightful. The view of the Eiffel Tower and other landmarks were spectacular, at dusk and at night. Our driver was waiting for us afterward as he did for all other occasions to make the wheelchair traversing possible. It would have been practically impossible to get about without that. A Moraccan nurse-aide was available during the day to assist L---- with my shower, dressing, etc and to assist during the day for some of the travels. She spoke English in addition to French so it was a great help. She was needed for the assistance, particulary shower, etc., because of my bad balance problem. The wheelchair turned out to be a marvelous "passport" to everything. The French were universally courteous and accommodating for the wheelchair. Our hotel, was courteous in every way, just two blocks from the Champs d Ellasaye (sp) and the Tour 'd France was just two blocks from our hotel. We watched it on TV because of the throngs of people. It was like "being there" without the crowd. B2----, we trust I---- is back in college and you have adjusted to his absence.
Now for a beginning to a new "season" for all of the opera and symphony concerts we hope to attend. We hope all of you are well, and look forward to hearing from all.
Love to all,
D---- and L----


And I replied:

Dear Grandfather S----,

Gosh, it's great to hear about your trip, but I feel the lash of your criticism as if it were directed at me.

I have another perspective on things, apparently. I believe J---- could use more of our support and empathy. Think of how difficult it must already be for a guy his age living in an active, athletic community. I would think saying, "Hang in there, Jesse, because life /does /get better after high school," or offering some kind of support might be more helpful, encouraging, or constructive. But judging J----'s diet and his life from his looks is oversimplifying.

Can we think in terms of giving each other a leg up? The benefit of the doubt? A chance to help someone go after a goal rather than a heaping of scorn over past actions? Does everyone have to do all of their life's work in total isolation, or can we help one another? Can your charity extend beyond fundraisers for symphony orchestras and toward your own people? If you want to leave a legacy, wouldn't you rather have your family know you as a caring person? Whether you like us or not, we are all your flesh and blood, J---- as much as me as much as any of us, and I feel hurt when you treat any of us this roughly, especially with the firsthand knowledge that Jesse doesn't deserve it (because I know him and I see what he's up against).

All I would wish for is that you would first, before judging him, put yourself in J----'s shoes for a few minutes. What advice would you give that young guy who has to get up and go to school every day? Surely there's some encouraging nugget you could glean from your years of experience.

So glad to hear that your trip was such a success.

Much love,
R----